Where angels fear to tread

My wife and I are blessed in having two beautiful boys: Oscar aged 14 and Max who is 12.  Max, who we adopted in 2008, has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHS).  Throughout the past 2 or 3 years, this condition has come to significantly affect Max and all those around him.  Life for us all has become so difficult that we have decided to send Max to a boarding school catering for ADHS and other behavioural conditions.  We will take Max to his new school in Paderborn in Germany on the 11 Aug, and this post is written in tribute to him.

I think this is my first photograph of Max taken in the New Forest in Jan 08.  On his right is his mother Christine and on his left is a close family friend Caroline

Max with his auntie Dolly in Dorset in August 2015

For those of you not familiar with ADHS (why should you unless you need to be), it usually manifests its self either as a hyperactive or impulsive behaviour or as inattentiveness or indeed as a combined condition.  Max has the latter.  Every parent writing about their child with ADHS, stresses the beauty inherent in their child and Max is no exception.  He is beautiful, compassionate, clever and witty but, and on the other hand Max has a deep well of anger within him probably relating to his past and when moved to anger he can be exceptionally rude - especially towards his parents.  His understanding of the concept of truth is profoundly underdeveloped and he lies frequently.  He is also extremely destructive and nearly always with other people's possessions and especially our iPads!  Despite being 12 years old, we still cannot leave Max unsupervised - whenever we have done so, significant nonsense occurs.  So, as you can see our Mouse is more than a handful!

Max - with Mummy in Salisbury summer 2008

When Max came to us aged 4 he behaved like any other boisterous boy.  The first time I saw him I was so amazed by how fast he moved, that I called him the 'Magic Mouse' - a nickname which, much to Max's occasional chagrin, has stood the test of time.  A close friend of mine - a mother of 2 boys and a girl herself - describes Max as a 'veritable force of nature' - he certainly is that!  If my memory serves me correctly, there was little evidence of the challenges that were to come - the occasional tantrums and bouts of naughty behaviour seemed quite normal and we took them in our stride.  He also got on really well with his new brother Oscar which obviously gave us much joy.  As an indication of his maturity, he decided to stay down a year at school in Salisbury by moving classes himself in order to help him manage the transition to his new school and family.  Amazingly, when we moved to Germany 3 years ago and Max attended his new school, he learnt German, which is a complex grammatical language, in about 3 months.


Max in a relaxed mood in France in summer 2010 aged 9



We have received a great deal of social welfare support for Max and were lucky to find a wonderful school in our area which provided exactly the type of pastoral care and discipline Max needed.  His teachers understood Max's condition and supported him patiently and consistently.  When we attended his leaving ceremony there in July, my wife and I wept with gratitude.  Max has also benefited from weekly therapeutic sessions and we all as a family have been able to discuss the highs and lows of life together.  We were always advised to ensure that every naughty deed has a consequence, but when one's armoury of sanctions has been exhausted or become meaningless, what can you do?  However, at the end of day and when all the helpers have gone, we've had no alternative other than to just get on with life as best as possible.  On the whole I think that we've done really well, but we are far from perfect and Max is getting bigger and stronger and, however patient and de-escalatory we try to be, the danger of physical contest is increasing.


Max and Puckle aged 2 in Dorset in May 2015

Christine and I are confident that Max will be happy and will thrive at his new school - he is amazingly sociable and confident.  But we also know that we will miss him enormously and will count the days until he comes home - roughly one weekend in three and obviously for the holidays.  I have just spent the past week with Max in Dorset where we were joined by my sister Helen.  We had a wonderful time together exploring, walking, watching films and visiting friends - always with skateboard in hand!  Max is at his best when he is relaxed and he has been really happy here.  As a parent you always want to do what is best for your children and I hope we have made the right decision for our Mouse.  He is gorgeous beyond measure and incredibly precious.  I am confident that he will thrive and be able to develop constructively in his new school.

Postscript: this piece has been written with Max's kind permission and he is happy with its content - just in case you're wondering.

Die Müritz

Last week we spent a week 'en famille' with Christine's mother and disabled brother by the Müritz in Mecklenburg-Vorpommern.  This was always going to be a 'compromise holiday' and the opportunity to get out and see birds was likely to be restricted to very early morning forays.  The end of July is also never a good time to find birds most of whom have gone quiet turning their thoughts to migrating south.  The Müritz, which charmingly means "little sea" in Slavic, is the second largest lake in Germany and the largest lake entirely within Germany.  Its area is 117 km², its maximum depth is 31 metres and it is fed and drained by the river Elde - not to be confused with the rather larger Elbe.  On its eastern shores lies the Müritz National Park covering vast areas of lake, wetland and ancient forest.  The weather during our stay was cool and breezy.


Die Müritz - the national park is on the eastern bank

Die Müritz - a view overlooking the lake from the east bank

My guide was, as usual, Vogel Beobachten in Ostdeutschland whose chapter on the Müritz concentrates almost exclusively on the Ostufer - or the east bank, and my activity consequently focussed on the north eastern arc of forest, lakes and fish ponds you can see on the map.  Iconic species here include Ospreys, White-tailed Eagles and Cranes which can be seen here in their thousands during the autumn.  My first early morning expedition entailed a long walk thorough a forest - I had unwisely left a bike at home - to the Specker See.  On the way I saw several Great Spotted Woodpeckers, Nuthatches and tits, including a Willow.  The lake, however, was somewhat disappointing with nothing showing except for some long distant unidentifiable ducks and Mute Swans.  Fortunately my return was enlivened by an obliging Grasshopper Warbler singing its heart out and shivering its tail so fast it seemed to be vibrating - something I've not seem before.  Being able to observe this immaculate little bird so closely saved the morning really!

Specker See - Müritz national park



Grasshopper Warbler - Müritz national park




Nuthatch  - Müritz national park

The next morning I visited the Teufelsbruch and Warnker See slightly further to the north.  This time I took a bike which enabled me to cover the 18 km rather more quickly.  The landscape here is really beautiful and much loved by the Germans who holiday here in their thousands - most of them on bikes!  I should also say that the provision of viewing platforms and hides by the national park authorities is outstanding and most of them were full of families looking out for Ospreys and White-tailed Eagles.  The staring cast at the Warnker See, however, were Cormorants in their hundreds resting on the water and breeding in the trees.  A species often overlooked on account of their commonality and strange reptilian appearance, their congregation here was really fantastic to see.



Public information - wanted dead or alive!

Cormorant   - Müritz national park

Also in attendance were a pair of White-tailed Eagles cavorting over the forest throwing themselves around in the breeze as if they were much smaller birds, and up by the Teufelsbruch an Osprey cruising nonchalantly.  Finally, a Marsh Harrier drifted in and out of view.  All species seem to be common here and can be seen more or less anywhere throughout the park.

White-tailed Eagles - Müritz national park

Osprey - Müritz national park

Male Marsh Harrier - Müritz national park

There were of course many other birds, including large numbers of Greylag Geese flying to and from the water and looking wonderful with the sun glinting on their plumage. One evening I saw a murmuration of Starlings looking for somewhere to roost, wheeling spectacularly across the sky.  So here's the list - 67 species in the dog-end of the breeding season when birds are hard to come by.  Mute Swan, Greylag Goose, Gadwall, Mallard, Tufted Duck, Pheasant, Great Crested Grebe, Cormorant, Great White Egret, Grey Heron, White Stork, Black Kite, Red Kite, White-tailed Eagle, Marsh Harrier, Sparrowhawk, Buzzard, Osprey, Kestrel, Moorhen, Coot, Crane, Lapwing, Black-headed Gull, Herring Gull, Common Tern, Stock Dove, Woodpigeon, Swift, Kingfisher, Green Woodpecker, Great Spotted Woodpecker, Sand Martin, Swallow, House Martin, Meadow Pipit, Wren, Dunnock, Robin, Black Redstart, Blackbird, Song Thrush, Mistle Thrush, Grasshopper Warbler, Reed Warbler, Chiffchaff, Willow Warbler Willow Tit, Coal Tit, Blue Tit, Great Tit, Nuthatch, Red-backed Shrike, Jay, Magpie, Jackdaw, Hooded Crow, Raven, Starling, House Sparrow, Tree Sparrow, Chaffinch,, Greenfinch, Goldfinch, Linnet, Yellowhammer and Reed Bunting.

Flock of Greylag Geese - Müritz national park

Murmuration of Starlings - Müritz national park

Finally, some thoughts on Mecklenburg-Vorpommern (VP) - a north eastern state I had never visited before.  Though by no means the smallest German Lander, VP is the least densely populated.  It is a beautiful gently undulating land of forests, lakes and arable land with very little industry.  It has, I believe, a greater preponderance of Sclösser than anywhere else in Germany.  Many if not most fell into disrepair during the DDR era and the best now have a new life as a kind of German National Trust welcoming tourists and exhibiting the region's history.  I was certainly interested to visit the home of Charlotte of Mecklenburg-Strelitz (1744–1818) in Mirow, who in 1766 became the wife of King George III.  On a more worrying note VP is one of Germany's poorest regions and  many communities suffered significantly after reunification and the withdrawal in the early 1990s of Soviet forces that were stationed there throughout the Cold War.  On our final afternoon - when the sun had at last come out - we visited a old and now unused air base that had been home to Russian MiGs.  All that is now left now is some rusting military hardware acting now a tourist attraction (I suppose that's better than them being used in anger) and some fading memories of relationships made and maintained and now forever gone.

Charlotte of Mecklenburg-Strelitz

A different kind of bird - a MiG 21 near Rechlin